I woke this morning like many others; slowly and then all at once. 😂 It’s dark in our room, wonderfully so, and I had no idea what time it was. So I rolled over to find Sean, but he was gone. Summer finds us both sleeping in whenever possible, which has not been often this year with a toddler, and so I stretched to find my phone and see what time it was. Just after 7... And suddenly summer was over. I realized that Sean had probably gotten up to go to his day full of meetings, so I rolled over to his side and snuggled into his pillow and went back to sleep.
One of my favorite things to recognize lately is the absence of my husband. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I like it when he’s gone. But I love that there are days when I miss him being around. After spending several years just waiting for him to leave because we were feuding, it’s nice to be finding our feet again and have days when I wish he were around instead of dreading him coming home.
In reading about prayer this week, I have been mulling over several statements that are starting to sink in. The one that most struck me today, especially after my waking realization that I missed my husband was this: “For there is nothing that makes us love a person so much as praying for him or her. When you can once do this sincerely for anyone, you have fitted your soul for the performance of everything that is kind and civil toward that person. This will fill your heart with a generosity and tenderness that will give you a better and sweeter behavior than anything that is called fine breeding and good manners.” —William Law, Total Devotion to God
I definitely see this difference in me, and in our relationship. Sure the work we’ve done has been helpful, but I’m much more loving and gracious on days when I’ve taken the time to dig into God’s word and spend time praying for my husband and for our family and those we love… and those we don’t love. It changes you, prayer. It wrecks you in the best way. I notice when I haven’t stopped to do i. And I’m sure if the people around me knew the days when I hadn’t taken the time to read and pray, they would notice, too.
So… It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I am also starting to recognize the absence of my Savior. The closer I get to him, the more I miss him when we haven’t had time together. I don’t like it when life has gotten in the way of me being able to talk to him, to listen to him, to be with him. Just like I don’t like it when Sean and I don’t have time to connect. The relationships that are the most important to me take the most intentionality, and have the biggest reward for maintaining them well.
One of my favorite things to recognize lately is the absence of my husband. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I like it when he’s gone. But I love that there are days when I miss him being around. After spending several years just waiting for him to leave because we were feuding, it’s nice to be finding our feet again and have days when I wish he were around instead of dreading him coming home.
In reading about prayer this week, I have been mulling over several statements that are starting to sink in. The one that most struck me today, especially after my waking realization that I missed my husband was this: “For there is nothing that makes us love a person so much as praying for him or her. When you can once do this sincerely for anyone, you have fitted your soul for the performance of everything that is kind and civil toward that person. This will fill your heart with a generosity and tenderness that will give you a better and sweeter behavior than anything that is called fine breeding and good manners.” —William Law, Total Devotion to God
I definitely see this difference in me, and in our relationship. Sure the work we’ve done has been helpful, but I’m much more loving and gracious on days when I’ve taken the time to dig into God’s word and spend time praying for my husband and for our family and those we love… and those we don’t love. It changes you, prayer. It wrecks you in the best way. I notice when I haven’t stopped to do i. And I’m sure if the people around me knew the days when I hadn’t taken the time to read and pray, they would notice, too.
So… It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I am also starting to recognize the absence of my Savior. The closer I get to him, the more I miss him when we haven’t had time together. I don’t like it when life has gotten in the way of me being able to talk to him, to listen to him, to be with him. Just like I don’t like it when Sean and I don’t have time to connect. The relationships that are the most important to me take the most intentionality, and have the biggest reward for maintaining them well.